Tips for Weddings

When you decide to get married, checklists and books and budgets and "should dos" and "must dos" may overwhelm you. I for one was going to go against the grain, have my wedding in a park, and maybe decorate the picnic tables. But then, slowly, my wedding morphed into a 'traditional' wedding. I'm not even quite sure what happened. Now many things I am looking forward to, but many I already wish I'd done differently. Here are a few things I have learned:

Dresses: If I had to do it all over again, I would not get traditional bride or bridesmaid dresses. What a waste! None of us will ever wear them again. I thought that letting each maid choose her own dress was a good idea, but really I should have just let them choose any blue dress anywhere, not just ones from a certain store. More casual dresses could have been worn again. Same goes for me. Several hundred dollars for just one night! And to top it off, the seamstresses can't even get it to fit me correctly. I'm sure I could have gotten a lovely dress from a store somewhere that fit without hundreds of dollars of alterations. And it would have been more me.

Site: As I mentioned before, I wanted to have my wedding in a park. There were two major problems with the park; 1)You can only book 6 months to the day in advance in person, and I don't live in the same city, and 2) It is a long drive from any hotel, with curving roads, making me worry about drunk driving. Other problems included the less than tasteful bathrooms and the beer-only policy. My parents and sister spent a whole day with Matt and I looking for sites, and later Erin and I went to look at even more. I ended up picking the last one, with a booking fee that was one of the steepest. Was it because I liked it best? I was tired of driving around? It had a central location? I'm not sure; probably mostly #2. It is a gorgeous site and thankfully has no grass (my AZ pet peeve), but it isn't terribly natural and is a bit fancy for my plain self. Other sites I would have liked were out in the country or the mountains, and Matt and I were concerned that our grandmothers wouldn't be able to make such a long drive. This is one important point - prioritize what you want in a wedding - people or place. Sometimes you just can't have both. (I do wish I knew someone with a backyard big enough for this soirée. That would be a great solution.)

Food: I tried for a long time to find a cheap and not so fancy caterer. It is pretty impossible. To get someone willing to set up your tables and everything for you, you end up with something sort of fancy. After one misguided contract with Heidi's (a bitch in case anyone is wondering), I found Mariana who is super nice and helpful. Lesson learned: Never go for the easy one. Sometimes spending more time looking and more time planning is better.

Money: I thought that I could have a relatively cheap wedding. Well I guess it still is well under the average, but it is a whole lot of money for just one night. The biggest thing I discovered about saving money is to have a small guest list and a free or cheap site. The more mouths you have to feed, the more you pay, and the extra money for the site tacked on top of everything else may be an unnecessary expense.

Flowers: I have no idea why flowers are so important and expensive. As my friend Erin pointed out, you can buy fairly cheap flowers at Trader Joe's that would make great bouquets and centerpieces. I tried to buy local, organic flowers (in Phoenix!) and that fell through. So now we are making our own bouquets, which I swore I would never do. However, since I'm at it, maybe I should have done all the flowers myself and saved several hundred dollars. As far as I'm concerned, flowers are pretty no matter what you do with them (almost).

Planning: I'm pretty sure I could have put on a wedding just like this one with many fewer months of planning. Then you don't have to worry about 6 month site reservations, because you will fall within that. The expensive sites will be taken. The parks will be reservable. The fancy caterers will be taken, so you will have to go local and relatively unknown, which might be better. Really everything important besides the site, I have booked or rebooked within the last 3 months. Caterer, florist, etc. Don't spend your life planning (unless you want to) - give yourself a break and do it the easy way - fast!


I guess those are my main comments. The bottom line is, weddings are expensive. For the couple, the parents, the attendants, the guests. Are they worth it? I'm sure to some extent. There is a balance between cutting your costs and keeping your guests happy (who may have traveled a long way). But really, it should be the wedding you want, not the wedding the books say. Try not to get caught up in everything or so worried about details that you book the 'easy' things. Doing it the right way will be just as easy.

Good luck to all you future brides! I'll let you know how mine goes.

Upcoming Events

Today: nothing really
Tomorrow: The 10 day weather forecast that includes February 10, 2007, will be available. I predict 72 and partly cloudy.
Thursday: Hopefully I will finally get to see Blood Diamond and be able to pat myself on the back for having a lab-created diamond.
Friday: I leave for Phoenix! Things of note which will be coming on the plane with me:
20 clothespins
2 teddy bears
100+ strands of colored raffia
1 pair flip-flops
1 bottle electric blue nail polish
5 tax forms
8 cards
80 odd pieces of paper
1 1/8 inch hole punch
Saturday: Party! 2nd Party! Yay!
Sunday: Super Bowl! Also possibly a trip to Costco, but that might be quite scary.
Monday: Try on and hopefully bring home my dress!
Tuesday: favors and gift bags and Matt arrives at night
Wednesday: run errands
Thursday: centerpieces
Friday: bouquets, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bowling!
Saturday: The BIG Day!
Sunday: Post-event depression. And a long car ride.

Matt's Blog (Green Desert) and Dogs

Matt has started a blog at http://mnbinnm.blogspot.com (I know - the website name is so un-original.) He posts about all things politically stupid, so check it out. Apparently he is simul-posting in myspace.

In addition, my thoughts go out to Erin, whose dog died unexpectedly earlier this week, and to Liz and Glenn, whose dog recently went missing.

Democrats in Office

I am, of course, as big a proponent as anyone to elect Democrats to office. Although to many it is a bit of an "Anyone but the Republicans" strategy right now, they definitely stand for some nice things. However, apparently one of the first things they did when they came into control of Congress this year was to cut earmarks. Now earmarks are not the greatest thing ever, but they were the source of my income. My lab suddenly has lost $2 million/year funding. Needless to stay, this puts all of our jobs on the line. Though other money will come trickling in, it will be hard to match that earmark. I am now in the position of not having any idea what my future holds (and it was secure for such a short time).

My boss suggested that perhaps I shouldn't have voted for so many Democrats, but to that I say, although it is not good for us, it will be better for the world. I will accept this sacrifice that I helped create on election day. I will continue to vote for Democrats. The Governor of my state, Bill Richardson, recently formed an exploratory committee. I am whole-heartedly behind Bill in his quest for Presidency. New Mexico is last in a lot of things, but in his four years of office, Bill has done more to bring it out of the depths than probably anyone in history. He is also an outstanding international diplomat, and recently arranged a 60 day ceasefire in Darfur. Check him out at http://www.richardsonforpresident.com/

I will forge ahead in search of the best direction for my life. May the Democrats improve the direction of this country.

Karen's visit and Mamma Mia

Yesterday afternoon my sister, Karen, flew into Albuquerque to visit Matt and me for a few days. The first exciting stop - Whole Foods. Believe it or not, this was a crazy car ride half way across the city and there was soooo much traffic. Next we went to see Mamma Mia at Popejoy Hall. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting, but the show was fabulous - so much fun. I was smiling nearly the entire time. And the two guys next to us loved it even more than we did. They could not contain their excitement. This is a story about a girl with 3 possible dads, and she invites them all to her wedding on a Greek Island. It is set to a bunch of ABBA tunes. I'm a little young to have been an ABBA fan, so I only knew two of the songs, but the music and the choreography and the storyline were just enrapturing. I'm pretty sure Matt would have hated it, but luckily he was not there. Everyone should go!

Speaking of plays, Rent is coming May 18-20. Anyone want to come see it with me?

Unfortunately I had to work today, so Karen has been busily working on her French lessons. Tomorrow we will head to the Plaza, San Lorenzo Canyon, and the Bosque, where hopefully there will still be birds at fly-in. Tonight we will go Pursue Happyness.

16 days!

Snow Again!

Okay, so I left Arizona for New Mexico and found that it snows here. And then I found that apparently it snows in Tucson and Phoenix as well. Who knew? I remember one time from my childhood that there was snow on the ground in Tucson. At any rate, for those of you who may be worried about temperature and precipitation for the upcoming nuptials, DO NOT DESPAIR! There is no possible way that it can still be cold and snowy in Phoenix in 19 days. That would mean that the climate is changing in a ridiculously fast paced manner. Oh wait...

At any rate, there is an indoor location in case everything else fails. This is not a problem. :)

Rio Film Fest Part Two

Well, it appears Matt has beaten me to this blog. You can check it out at http://blog.myspace.com/32688197.

The Film Fest ended yesterday, so today I tried to inspre Matt into reducing our belongings. Sadly enough, I think I got rid of as much stuff as he did and yet I don't have nearly as much to start with. Anyway, I used to be a believer in only having as much stuff as will fit in your car, but needless to say I have recently surpassed this. As Matt and I will probably be downsizing soon (into a smaller place), but we will also be getting things for the wedding, it only make sense to get rid of stuff. Yet Matt claims his stuff makes him happy. I'm not sure what that says about me. It is probably a fight we will never resolve, but I will at least try to hold up my end. I think about this every birthday and Christmas, because I just keep getting more stuff. I think the answer to this consumerism is to give donations, buy people trees and alligators and carbon offsets - somewhat intangible things. I for one don't really need more stuff. And charity registries are really cool!

Rio Film Fest

Something's finally happening in Socorro! Tonight and tomorrow the 1st Annual Rio Film Fest, about environmenal awareness and appreciation, is playing on campus. This evening Matt and I went to see Killowatt Ours, by Jeff Barrie (see online at killowattours.org). It is on a much smaller scale than An Inconvenient Truth, but it might resonate more with local folks who see Al Gore on a whole other level than the rest of us. Check out the website and learn what you can do to improve energy efficiency and increase green power.

Things I recommend:

• Repace your light bulbs with CFLs. These cost a bit more but are cheaper to run and last thousands of hours longer, so you save money in the long run.
• Turn down your thermostat in the the winter and up in the summer. There is nothing wrong with wearing sweater (or two) in your house.
• Buy Energy Star appliances. Apparently you can find these at used appliance shops for a pretty good bargain.
• Drive less. Although I drive a lot, to Albuquerque about once a week and to the Bosque a few times a month, Matt and I have made a pact not to drive in town. Today I walked to campus to meet him for lunch, then we walked to the Post Office on the Plaza, later that night to the supermarket, and then again to the film festival. The snow just made i that more exciting.
• When you do drive, drive a fuel-efficient car. My Echo gets 40-45mpg.
• Buy green power from your utility company. If you reduce your energy usage through CFLs and other conservation, you can put the money saved towards green power. If your Electric Company is not quite sure what Green Power is (welcome to Socorro), try offsetting your use through Terrapass, carbonfund, or nativeenergy. Terrapass will even send you a CFL.
• If you can afford it, install solar panels or mini-wind turbines and break free from the energy grid. Someday we hope to do this as well.
• Live in as little space as you can. Matt and I made the mistake of renting a large 3 bedroom home which we can neither heat nor cool adequately. The temperature in our bedroom is often 63 degrees, but our gas bil last month was $85. We certainly do not need this much space and have found ourselves living in the two warmest rooms with no problems. We plan to downsize when our lease is up.

I will update the remainder of the Film Fest tomorrow. They are also showing An Inconvenient Truth for free tomorrow evening. What a great idea.

Here's to future generations - may they enjoy some unspoiled nature and clean air.

Bosque

Tomorrow I do my very first school-group tour! Just me, no one to fill in additional information. And it is bound to be freezing. We will see how it goes.

28 days and counting!

I really cannot believe that I will be getting married in less than a month. That is crazy! Sometimes I think that I am old (26!) but then sometimes I think there is no way I am ready to settle down right now. And I'm talking about actual physical location, not Matt, who I am excited to marry. It just is weird not to be able to pick up and leave or take seasonal jobs or any of that fun stuff I used to do. Now I live in a house and have a real job. And soon I will be married! I am pretty sure none of my friends would have expected this from me. And I have been here in New Mexico for almost 7 months now, so its not like the wedding is going to change anything. So I am excited! There is not so much left to do now - mostly write my vows. I am looking forward to seeing everyone at the wedding! And bowling of course, we can't forget about that. Okay well that was a boring blog. I'll try to think of something more fun to say next time.

Oh and on a side note, the journal article I wrote based on my Master's thesis was finally reviewed, and somehow one of the reviewers was a guy who works in my lab. Now seriously, is the world of SD modeling really so small that one of my co-workers is a reviewer? Let me just say that this paper is not that great and neither was the review, so it is just a bit embarrassing. On a better note, all three of my references finally got their letters in for the 'secret' application, although one might not arrive until the due date - talk about cutting it close. I guess I might not hear anything else until March. Keep your fingers crossed!

Also, there are new pictures on the Happy New Years entry.

Happy New Year!

Well, I have been informed that I have not blogged for a long time. I did not, however, realize that it had come to be well over a month. Damn! At any rate, here is the first blog of the new year.

Matt and I just got back from visiting my sister and her husband in Switzerland. It was quite freezing and there was not much snow, but it was a good time none-the-less. We spent a few days in Geneve and a few days in a little town in the Alps that was absolutely gorgeous. We went hiking in the valley one day, hiking across the Alps one day, and snowboarding for part of a day. We also saw some glaciers - everyone must try to do this before they all disappear! The most hilarious part (now) of the trip was probably the fact that I could not get up the lift on my snowboard. They had some sort of strange t-bar/tow rope thing that I kept falling off, resulting in a BEAUTIFUL bruise on my ass (let me know if you would like to see a picture of that). At any rate, I had to hike up the run each and every time I wanted to board down. I am a complete loser, but at least I got my exercise! And the snowboarding part was great fun.

The other highlight of the trip was going to a castle - Chateau de Chillon - near Montreaux, the Swiss Riviera. It was cloudy, rainy, and sometimes snowy but still beautiful.

Last night we arrived terribly jet-lagged in Phoenix, and I spent today working from my parent's house. There is something to be said for a job with flexibility. I didn't really have any New Year's resolutions until now, but I think it will be to enjoy and appreciate the great things I have and stop thinking that the grass might be greener elsewhere.

The other wonderful news of the year is that I have been diagnosed with food allergies and am now on an awful diet trying to figure out exactly what it is. I just hope I am not too skinny for my wedding dress fitting on Saturday - it is hard to take in enough calories when you don't eat meat and can't eat wheat, corn, soy, and peanuts. Good times. The worst side effects of this plan were missing out on fondue in Switzerland and indirectly contributing to the car accident of an un-named friend who was so kind to come see me at my house.

At any rate, this is the start of 2007 and soon to be the start of my 27th year (when did I ever get so old?). I wish everyone peace and happiness and hope you can follow those pesky resolutions.

Things I look forward to:
(oh and by the way I recently learned that dangling prepositions are acceptable)

• Getting married
• Bridal shower and bachelorettte party (in 1 month!)
• Seeing all my friends and family who are coming in for the wedding
• Getting to hang out with my bridesmaids
• Having friends in New Mexico
• Making new friends (one can always dream)
• Starting new activities
• Learning languages
• Reducing my environmental footprint
• The end of the Iraq War
• A Democrat-run Congress
• The end of the crisis in Darfur
• AND world peace (just to prove I could win a 'scholarship' contest too)

Peace out!