I have hit a wall. I want to do anything but work. Clean the house, catch up on magazines, write thank you notes, blog. I have at least a few more months to go though. We shall see how that goes.
I successfully submitted my grad school application by the priority deadline, so if all the stars align, I will have new ventures for summer and fall. If not, I will be in a bit of a quagmire.
On that note, I would like to reaffirm to Ms. A that certainly a very important asset of being single is getting to do whatever you want to do! Never underestimate that. I would definitely keep it that way for as long as possible.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Marriage
Well, this past weekend was the big event! Matt and I made our commitment legal and are now able to obtain certain benefits that are unavailable to many others. Part of me felt like participating in this institution was morally wrong until it is open to everybody, no matter who they want to marry. However, I also wanted to marry Matt! So since I went ahead and did it, I pledge to advocate for equal rights and vote for politicians who do as well.
Another part of marriage that is hard to come to terms with are the traditions involved in the ceremony itself. We definitely made sure there were no "women are subservient to men" clauses, I am not changing my name, I got walked down the aisle by both my parents, and I hope that it came across as support, not 'giving me away.' I did wear white, that I will admit, but it does look pretty! (That is my only excuse.) Also, I chose not to wear the veil. I said my vows first because the male should not be the only one to take the lead. There are probably some other things I didn't think of that are catering to patriarchal traditions. Matt probably should have walked down the aisle too, not just me. What can I say? I am a sucker for pretty things and traditions.
All that aside, Matt and I are having fun so far. We haven't done much, just spent some time with family, opened presents, and drove back to New Mexico. Tomorrow we return to regular life. Doesn't really seem like anything has changed. There's just that little piece of paper with our signatures on it to remind us that we are 'legal.' So now Matt can get some dental work. And a new contact prescription. And I can golf for cheap at NMT. Lots of bonuses. Mostly we are just our same old selves.
Also, for the record, I wouldn't hire Mariana for your catering. She is a great cook but not so good at the catering. Also make sure that the site's event planner will actually be there at the rehearsal and event. It is hard to coordinate things yourself, especially when you are supposed to be hidden from view. And hydrangeas die quickly in Arizona, even in February. Bad idea, but they were pretty for a day!
Thanks everyone who was there to celebrate our big day with us! It was lots of fun!
Matt and I will definitely post pictures when they become available. If anyone has bridal shower, bachelorette party, or wedding pictures, I would love to see them!
On a completely different note, I just found out that I am a semi-finalist in my secret application. I have a phone interview in early March, so wish me luck!
Another part of marriage that is hard to come to terms with are the traditions involved in the ceremony itself. We definitely made sure there were no "women are subservient to men" clauses, I am not changing my name, I got walked down the aisle by both my parents, and I hope that it came across as support, not 'giving me away.' I did wear white, that I will admit, but it does look pretty! (That is my only excuse.) Also, I chose not to wear the veil. I said my vows first because the male should not be the only one to take the lead. There are probably some other things I didn't think of that are catering to patriarchal traditions. Matt probably should have walked down the aisle too, not just me. What can I say? I am a sucker for pretty things and traditions.
All that aside, Matt and I are having fun so far. We haven't done much, just spent some time with family, opened presents, and drove back to New Mexico. Tomorrow we return to regular life. Doesn't really seem like anything has changed. There's just that little piece of paper with our signatures on it to remind us that we are 'legal.' So now Matt can get some dental work. And a new contact prescription. And I can golf for cheap at NMT. Lots of bonuses. Mostly we are just our same old selves.
Also, for the record, I wouldn't hire Mariana for your catering. She is a great cook but not so good at the catering. Also make sure that the site's event planner will actually be there at the rehearsal and event. It is hard to coordinate things yourself, especially when you are supposed to be hidden from view. And hydrangeas die quickly in Arizona, even in February. Bad idea, but they were pretty for a day!
Thanks everyone who was there to celebrate our big day with us! It was lots of fun!
Matt and I will definitely post pictures when they become available. If anyone has bridal shower, bachelorette party, or wedding pictures, I would love to see them!
On a completely different note, I just found out that I am a semi-finalist in my secret application. I have a phone interview in early March, so wish me luck!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Heat and School
Today I woke up, stepped out of the bed, immediately froze, checked the thermometer and found it was 57 inside. And snowing outside. For some reason 57 outside is not too cold, but inside our house it is quite cold. I cannot get the heater to come on and am currently waiting for help to arrive. I AM COLD! When I lived in Tucson, I never had the heater on; only the space heater, and I do remember it being chilly (sometimes it was in the 20s outside at night), but it can't have been this bad, can it? Although I didn't work at home then so all I had to do was cuddle up under lots of blankets at night. I cannot leave this house because I have to wait for phone calls. No fun!
On a side note, I am contemplating going back to school. Already. Part of the problem is that I am probably going to lose my job this summer and there aren't very many jobs to be had in NM. This might be an easy way out. If I get funded at least. It will be hard for Matt and me because we might have to live in separate towns or else live in the middle and both commute 40 miles each way (although I could take a train!). But there really are very few potential jobs where I could still live in Socorro, and Matt hasn't finished classes yet. So we shall see. I will miss the priority deadline, so that doesn't make my chances too wonderful.
Also, the wedding day forecast finally came out, and it is calling for 74 and partly cloudy. (See my prediction a few days ago - super close.) Should be beautiful!
On a side note, I am contemplating going back to school. Already. Part of the problem is that I am probably going to lose my job this summer and there aren't very many jobs to be had in NM. This might be an easy way out. If I get funded at least. It will be hard for Matt and me because we might have to live in separate towns or else live in the middle and both commute 40 miles each way (although I could take a train!). But there really are very few potential jobs where I could still live in Socorro, and Matt hasn't finished classes yet. So we shall see. I will miss the priority deadline, so that doesn't make my chances too wonderful.
Also, the wedding day forecast finally came out, and it is calling for 74 and partly cloudy. (See my prediction a few days ago - super close.) Should be beautiful!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tips for Weddings
When you decide to get married, checklists and books and budgets and "should dos" and "must dos" may overwhelm you. I for one was going to go against the grain, have my wedding in a park, and maybe decorate the picnic tables. But then, slowly, my wedding morphed into a 'traditional' wedding. I'm not even quite sure what happened. Now many things I am looking forward to, but many I already wish I'd done differently. Here are a few things I have learned:
Dresses: If I had to do it all over again, I would not get traditional bride or bridesmaid dresses. What a waste! None of us will ever wear them again. I thought that letting each maid choose her own dress was a good idea, but really I should have just let them choose any blue dress anywhere, not just ones from a certain store. More casual dresses could have been worn again. Same goes for me. Several hundred dollars for just one night! And to top it off, the seamstresses can't even get it to fit me correctly. I'm sure I could have gotten a lovely dress from a store somewhere that fit without hundreds of dollars of alterations. And it would have been more me.
Site: As I mentioned before, I wanted to have my wedding in a park. There were two major problems with the park; 1)You can only book 6 months to the day in advance in person, and I don't live in the same city, and 2) It is a long drive from any hotel, with curving roads, making me worry about drunk driving. Other problems included the less than tasteful bathrooms and the beer-only policy. My parents and sister spent a whole day with Matt and I looking for sites, and later Erin and I went to look at even more. I ended up picking the last one, with a booking fee that was one of the steepest. Was it because I liked it best? I was tired of driving around? It had a central location? I'm not sure; probably mostly #2. It is a gorgeous site and thankfully has no grass (my AZ pet peeve), but it isn't terribly natural and is a bit fancy for my plain self. Other sites I would have liked were out in the country or the mountains, and Matt and I were concerned that our grandmothers wouldn't be able to make such a long drive. This is one important point - prioritize what you want in a wedding - people or place. Sometimes you just can't have both. (I do wish I knew someone with a backyard big enough for this soirée. That would be a great solution.)
Food: I tried for a long time to find a cheap and not so fancy caterer. It is pretty impossible. To get someone willing to set up your tables and everything for you, you end up with something sort of fancy. After one misguided contract with Heidi's (a bitch in case anyone is wondering), I found Mariana who is super nice and helpful. Lesson learned: Never go for the easy one. Sometimes spending more time looking and more time planning is better.
Money: I thought that I could have a relatively cheap wedding. Well I guess it still is well under the average, but it is a whole lot of money for just one night. The biggest thing I discovered about saving money is to have a small guest list and a free or cheap site. The more mouths you have to feed, the more you pay, and the extra money for the site tacked on top of everything else may be an unnecessary expense.
Flowers: I have no idea why flowers are so important and expensive. As my friend Erin pointed out, you can buy fairly cheap flowers at Trader Joe's that would make great bouquets and centerpieces. I tried to buy local, organic flowers (in Phoenix!) and that fell through. So now we are making our own bouquets, which I swore I would never do. However, since I'm at it, maybe I should have done all the flowers myself and saved several hundred dollars. As far as I'm concerned, flowers are pretty no matter what you do with them (almost).
Planning: I'm pretty sure I could have put on a wedding just like this one with many fewer months of planning. Then you don't have to worry about 6 month site reservations, because you will fall within that. The expensive sites will be taken. The parks will be reservable. The fancy caterers will be taken, so you will have to go local and relatively unknown, which might be better. Really everything important besides the site, I have booked or rebooked within the last 3 months. Caterer, florist, etc. Don't spend your life planning (unless you want to) - give yourself a break and do it the easy way - fast!
I guess those are my main comments. The bottom line is, weddings are expensive. For the couple, the parents, the attendants, the guests. Are they worth it? I'm sure to some extent. There is a balance between cutting your costs and keeping your guests happy (who may have traveled a long way). But really, it should be the wedding you want, not the wedding the books say. Try not to get caught up in everything or so worried about details that you book the 'easy' things. Doing it the right way will be just as easy.
Good luck to all you future brides! I'll let you know how mine goes.
Dresses: If I had to do it all over again, I would not get traditional bride or bridesmaid dresses. What a waste! None of us will ever wear them again. I thought that letting each maid choose her own dress was a good idea, but really I should have just let them choose any blue dress anywhere, not just ones from a certain store. More casual dresses could have been worn again. Same goes for me. Several hundred dollars for just one night! And to top it off, the seamstresses can't even get it to fit me correctly. I'm sure I could have gotten a lovely dress from a store somewhere that fit without hundreds of dollars of alterations. And it would have been more me.
Site: As I mentioned before, I wanted to have my wedding in a park. There were two major problems with the park; 1)You can only book 6 months to the day in advance in person, and I don't live in the same city, and 2) It is a long drive from any hotel, with curving roads, making me worry about drunk driving. Other problems included the less than tasteful bathrooms and the beer-only policy. My parents and sister spent a whole day with Matt and I looking for sites, and later Erin and I went to look at even more. I ended up picking the last one, with a booking fee that was one of the steepest. Was it because I liked it best? I was tired of driving around? It had a central location? I'm not sure; probably mostly #2. It is a gorgeous site and thankfully has no grass (my AZ pet peeve), but it isn't terribly natural and is a bit fancy for my plain self. Other sites I would have liked were out in the country or the mountains, and Matt and I were concerned that our grandmothers wouldn't be able to make such a long drive. This is one important point - prioritize what you want in a wedding - people or place. Sometimes you just can't have both. (I do wish I knew someone with a backyard big enough for this soirée. That would be a great solution.)
Food: I tried for a long time to find a cheap and not so fancy caterer. It is pretty impossible. To get someone willing to set up your tables and everything for you, you end up with something sort of fancy. After one misguided contract with Heidi's (a bitch in case anyone is wondering), I found Mariana who is super nice and helpful. Lesson learned: Never go for the easy one. Sometimes spending more time looking and more time planning is better.
Money: I thought that I could have a relatively cheap wedding. Well I guess it still is well under the average, but it is a whole lot of money for just one night. The biggest thing I discovered about saving money is to have a small guest list and a free or cheap site. The more mouths you have to feed, the more you pay, and the extra money for the site tacked on top of everything else may be an unnecessary expense.
Flowers: I have no idea why flowers are so important and expensive. As my friend Erin pointed out, you can buy fairly cheap flowers at Trader Joe's that would make great bouquets and centerpieces. I tried to buy local, organic flowers (in Phoenix!) and that fell through. So now we are making our own bouquets, which I swore I would never do. However, since I'm at it, maybe I should have done all the flowers myself and saved several hundred dollars. As far as I'm concerned, flowers are pretty no matter what you do with them (almost).
Planning: I'm pretty sure I could have put on a wedding just like this one with many fewer months of planning. Then you don't have to worry about 6 month site reservations, because you will fall within that. The expensive sites will be taken. The parks will be reservable. The fancy caterers will be taken, so you will have to go local and relatively unknown, which might be better. Really everything important besides the site, I have booked or rebooked within the last 3 months. Caterer, florist, etc. Don't spend your life planning (unless you want to) - give yourself a break and do it the easy way - fast!
I guess those are my main comments. The bottom line is, weddings are expensive. For the couple, the parents, the attendants, the guests. Are they worth it? I'm sure to some extent. There is a balance between cutting your costs and keeping your guests happy (who may have traveled a long way). But really, it should be the wedding you want, not the wedding the books say. Try not to get caught up in everything or so worried about details that you book the 'easy' things. Doing it the right way will be just as easy.
Good luck to all you future brides! I'll let you know how mine goes.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Upcoming Events
Today: nothing really
Tomorrow: The 10 day weather forecast that includes February 10, 2007, will be available. I predict 72 and partly cloudy.
Thursday: Hopefully I will finally get to see Blood Diamond and be able to pat myself on the back for having a lab-created diamond.
Friday: I leave for Phoenix! Things of note which will be coming on the plane with me:
20 clothespins
2 teddy bears
100+ strands of colored raffia
1 pair flip-flops
1 bottle electric blue nail polish
5 tax forms
8 cards
80 odd pieces of paper
1 1/8 inch hole punch
Saturday: Party! 2nd Party! Yay!
Sunday: Super Bowl! Also possibly a trip to Costco, but that might be quite scary.
Monday: Try on and hopefully bring home my dress!
Tuesday: favors and gift bags and Matt arrives at night
Wednesday: run errands
Thursday: centerpieces
Friday: bouquets, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bowling!
Saturday: The BIG Day!
Sunday: Post-event depression. And a long car ride.
Tomorrow: The 10 day weather forecast that includes February 10, 2007, will be available. I predict 72 and partly cloudy.
Thursday: Hopefully I will finally get to see Blood Diamond and be able to pat myself on the back for having a lab-created diamond.
Friday: I leave for Phoenix! Things of note which will be coming on the plane with me:
20 clothespins
2 teddy bears
100+ strands of colored raffia
1 pair flip-flops
1 bottle electric blue nail polish
5 tax forms
8 cards
80 odd pieces of paper
1 1/8 inch hole punch
Saturday: Party! 2nd Party! Yay!
Sunday: Super Bowl! Also possibly a trip to Costco, but that might be quite scary.
Monday: Try on and hopefully bring home my dress!
Tuesday: favors and gift bags and Matt arrives at night
Wednesday: run errands
Thursday: centerpieces
Friday: bouquets, rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, bowling!
Saturday: The BIG Day!
Sunday: Post-event depression. And a long car ride.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Matt's Blog (Green Desert) and Dogs
Matt has started a blog at http://mnbinnm.blogspot.com (I know - the website name is so un-original.) He posts about all things politically stupid, so check it out. Apparently he is simul-posting in myspace.
In addition, my thoughts go out to Erin, whose dog died unexpectedly earlier this week, and to Liz and Glenn, whose dog recently went missing.
In addition, my thoughts go out to Erin, whose dog died unexpectedly earlier this week, and to Liz and Glenn, whose dog recently went missing.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Democrats in Office
I am, of course, as big a proponent as anyone to elect Democrats to office. Although to many it is a bit of an "Anyone but the Republicans" strategy right now, they definitely stand for some nice things. However, apparently one of the first things they did when they came into control of Congress this year was to cut earmarks. Now earmarks are not the greatest thing ever, but they were the source of my income. My lab suddenly has lost $2 million/year funding. Needless to stay, this puts all of our jobs on the line. Though other money will come trickling in, it will be hard to match that earmark. I am now in the position of not having any idea what my future holds (and it was secure for such a short time).
My boss suggested that perhaps I shouldn't have voted for so many Democrats, but to that I say, although it is not good for us, it will be better for the world. I will accept this sacrifice that I helped create on election day. I will continue to vote for Democrats. The Governor of my state, Bill Richardson, recently formed an exploratory committee. I am whole-heartedly behind Bill in his quest for Presidency. New Mexico is last in a lot of things, but in his four years of office, Bill has done more to bring it out of the depths than probably anyone in history. He is also an outstanding international diplomat, and recently arranged a 60 day ceasefire in Darfur. Check him out at http://www.richardsonforpresident.com/
I will forge ahead in search of the best direction for my life. May the Democrats improve the direction of this country.
My boss suggested that perhaps I shouldn't have voted for so many Democrats, but to that I say, although it is not good for us, it will be better for the world. I will accept this sacrifice that I helped create on election day. I will continue to vote for Democrats. The Governor of my state, Bill Richardson, recently formed an exploratory committee. I am whole-heartedly behind Bill in his quest for Presidency. New Mexico is last in a lot of things, but in his four years of office, Bill has done more to bring it out of the depths than probably anyone in history. He is also an outstanding international diplomat, and recently arranged a 60 day ceasefire in Darfur. Check him out at http://www.richardsonforpresident.com/
I will forge ahead in search of the best direction for my life. May the Democrats improve the direction of this country.
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